The Rodine Effect (Jan 2026)

Performance Art Loop (Humidifier‑Narrated Delsym Trip)

I intended to write this column myself, but somewhere between the Delsym and the elderberry gummies, my humidifier achieved consciousness and offered to narrate. I didn’t argue. I don’t have the lung capacity.

According to the humidifier, I have entered what it calls “The Loop.” The Loop begins when I sit down to write and immediately stand back up because I remembered a Very Important Task, like reorganizing my cough drops by zodiac sign. The Loop continues when I stare at the cursor until it blinks in Morse code. The Loop peaks when I take another elderberry gummy because the bottle said “daily,” and I’ve decided that means “whenever the spirits demand tribute.”

The humidifier says procrastination is not avoidance—it’s ritual. A sacred circling. A slow‑motion dance performed by someone who is 40% mucus and 60% misplaced confidence. It claims this is how I summon creativity, though it also claims it can see sound now, so who knows.

Time is soft. Deadlines are conceptual. “Tomorrow” keeps tapping me on the shoulder like a Victorian ghost who died of a chest cold and refuses to move on.

And yet—somehow—something always gets written. Even if it’s co‑authored by a humidifier with delusions of grandeur.

So here it is. A column forged in procrastination, elderberries, and the syrup‑slow courage of Delsym. If it makes sense, that’s on you.

That’s all from me—back to the Delsym dimension.